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20 Signs You Are Spending Too Much Time As Mom

You know you might be spending too much time as “Mom” when:

1.  You begin using stockings to store onions rather than to entice the opposite sex.

2.  Your vibrator has it’s own side of the bed.

3.  You actually use your vibrator to massage your own back.

4.  Your underwear is older than your oldest child.

5.  You think Taco Bell is a 5-star restaurant, and they call you by name when you drive-through.

6.  All your bras are white, and actually comfortable.

7.  You use your dust-ridden stiletto pumps to hammer nails and kill bugs.

8.  You shave your legs only in the summer.

9.  You think a baseball cap as an accessory looks cute … all the time.

10. You carry carrots and crackers in your Gucci bag.

11. You put spit on your finger and try to wipe the sides of the mouths of all the men you meet.

12. An exciting evening is not having to bathe the dog.

13. Your mother is your favorite person to call.

14. When someone suggests you get a waxing you think it’s to hire someone to dust your home.

15. All your lotions, shampoos and soaps smell like a doctor’s office rather than rose petals.

16. All you have to talk about is your children’s laundry.

17. You think pole dancing is something lumberjacks do.

18. You like to hang out with your mother on Saturday nights.

19. Your father finds you sensible.

20. You carry wet-wipes and actually use them.

Holy shi* I think I’m officially a chronic Mom.

Where’s my glass of wine … and Kleenex?

Until next time-


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About Catherine, the redhead mom blogger

Catherine’s hopes to make this blog a safe place for thyroid sufferers to come laugh and share the funnier side of thyroid disease while raising awareness around the world. She is a published author, known for her humorous speeches on finding your dream life and blogging for fun and profit. Catherine writes about her dream life at, 8 Women Dream and several online marketing publications. She would also like to be invited to speak at TED about her observations. Catherine posts on M/W/F. Join me on Google+ rapieress@aol.com

4 Responses to 20 Signs You Are Spending Too Much Time As Mom

  1. terri July 25, 2007 at 10:45 pm #

    So true, so true! And sadly, I can relate to WAY too many of these!

  2. Judy July 26, 2007 at 12:43 am #

    You could also add no zippers and T shirts only for our “Mom” attire. I also can tell another Mom within 10 foot if she has stains on her clothes and bags under her eyes. I also see Women regularly that have bald spots on their heads, My husband gawks and says what do you think is wrong with her, I say : you silly man , She has Children! I loved reading your Blog Post today.

  3. Karana July 26, 2007 at 3:44 pm #

    Thanks for your comment on my daughter’s blog (http://princessmikasare.blogspot.com).

    Number 4 cracked me up. And the comment that Judy wrote about stains on clothes… oh yes, unfortunately that is so me. I have so few clothes that are stain free. *sigh*

  4. VirtualSprite July 26, 2007 at 3:56 pm #

    Crap… I’m a mom! It’s official. Well, I at least have red hair… that should be good for something?

    Very, very funny!

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