What Kind Of Man To Watch Out For When You Get Divorced

The men I knew during the first 6 months of my marriage separation are a complete blur to me.

Some contact me from time to time and I think, “Who are you and why did I date you?” Fear can take us to a place where good judgment is as clear as pond scum. Fear is the sweat of the first 6 months of divorce and we newly separated sweat more than we care to admit.

The newly divorced need new friends – not new lovers.

When you begin to date again you are exposed to all kinds of situations you may or may not be prepared to handle.

There are the men who will pretend you have no children. I am more mother than anything, and the best part of me is Brian my child. Cut Brian out of the equation and 3/4 of whom I am is gone. A man who ignores that I am a mom first, makes for a poor friend and even a worse dating partner – skip this kind.

There are the men come to your home and think nothing of the things they use up – never pondering that it might be the last of the milk – forcing you on yet another trip to the store before your children return.  Men that create more work for you are not thinking of you – skip this kind too.

There are men who will show up at your door with nothing but a smile and a hard-on.  Recognize them.  Don’t fall in love with them, and if you think you will – skip these men too.

Date men who bring you good coffee and toilet paper.  Oh and milk.

-There are also the guys who don’t clean up for a date. There once was a guy that showed up one Saturday evening for a date in his jeep, and had nothing but stale garbage all over the floor of his jeep, including a banana peel. When he opened the jeep door for me, he brushed the passenger seat with his hand, pushing more garbage to the floor.

I kid you not.

This guy was sending a clear message of exactly how important I was in his world and became furious with me when I wouldn’t get in the car.   I may have to go in my son’s room to get him to give me his dirty laundry, but I don’t have to ride around in his room.  Don’t date a man who won’t bother to wash his car for date night – skip him too.

-There are the guys that try and date you, but only in your home. They want to be a fuc* buddy.  You know they just want to hang out, use your stuff, have sex and leave. If that is all you want fine, but it sounds a lot like a bad marriage, so skip this one too.

-Another type is the ones that always want you to drive to see them, even if they are 5 hours away.  Skip them too.

Go back to school.  Travel.  Join a gym.  Take a dance class.  Invest in yourself.  And just skip dating any of the above.  You will come out of your divorce much better if you do.

Until next time-

C

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