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The Secrets Of Helping An Aging Girlfriend Get Through A Birthday

Wow, has it been a week already?  I bet you have been counting the days until my usual Friday gratefulness.  Time flies when one is having the time of her life doing laundry, washing dishes, preparing meals, being the taxi driver, cleaning and entertaining 12 year old boys who like to make strange farting sounds.

If I met the enemy right now, and they said, “We’ll happily entertain your son and his friends for a day if you just tell us.”

“My social security number is 523- ….  and the Federal Reserve Bank is located at…”

Yeah, I’d cave THAT easy.

Which is why I am grateful for
Norwegian friends who show up from afar with wine, knock on my door and proclaim, “Hi. Let’s take our dogs to the beach and watch the sun set.”

No kids.

Wow, it’s enough to make me think about becoming a lesbian.

Which also makes me grateful that,
I am not dating, now, or in the future, any guy that dawns a garbage bag, kicks a basketball (on the beach) as a part of a team with their arms tied and calls it a game.

Just exactly how high does a guy have to be to do this?

Wow, it’s enough to make me think about becoming a lesbian.

Which makes me grateful that,
I am not dating guys who climb the rocks and body surf (in clothes) in the number one killer rip tide spot in Northern California.  The water is a lovely 55 degrees.  But hey, they passed their grade school “I can swim the length of the pool” swimming class… 20 years ago.

Just exactly how high drunk does a guy have to be to do this?

Probably like some guys here who decide to dawn wet suits, get into the Northern California Pacific ocean to resemble Matthew McConaughey baby seals. To quote Forbes Traveler’s article on the 10 Most Shark Infested Beaches in World:

“To compile a list of the most shark-dangerous beaches also means going to waters that are home to these three ocean predators. We find ourselves in the seal-rich waters of Northern California, in an area known as the “Red Triangle…red for blood.”

Just exactly how high does a guy have to be to do this?

Another reason to make me think about becoming a lesbian.

Which makes me grateful that
I do live a 30 minute drive from the beautiful Pacific ocean, and I don’t do abalone diving or surfing in my freezer the Northern Pacific ocean.

And I am grateful that,
It’s the beginning of my birthday week.

Yes, I was born on the 4th of July, and that, my friends should explain everything.

Where’s my bottle of wine?

Lastly,  I am always most grateful for
Boonie the dog.
Oh wait, I mean,


Until next time-



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About Catherine, the redhead mom blogger

Catherine’s hopes to make this blog a safe place for thyroid sufferers to come laugh and share the funnier side of thyroid disease while raising awareness around the world. She is a published author, known for her humorous speeches on finding your dream life and blogging for fun and profit. Catherine writes about her dream life at, 8 Women Dream and several online marketing publications. She would also like to be invited to speak at TED about her observations. Catherine posts on M/W/F. Join me on Google+ rapieress@aol.com

6 Responses to The Secrets Of Helping An Aging Girlfriend Get Through A Birthday

  1. Shinade June 30, 2007 at 1:18 am #

    yes I do agree about the messaging at MyblogLog….and, I also happened to notice that you so aptly left it to where I could not reply…good trick…I will remember that one!!

  2. Steven June 30, 2007 at 2:54 am #

    Happy Birthday a few days early Catherine. Hope you have a great day.

  3. Lynne June 30, 2007 at 1:56 pm #

    Hi Catherine,
    Happy Birthday to my favorite fellow redheaded diva in training! I hope you get your bottle of wine and drink it in honor of me. As for the lesbian thing, I think all of us at one time or another have questioned this one too. Myself, I love men WAY TOO MUCH for my own good and if I had been a lesbian, my life might have been a lot easier and less fraught with tension and disappointment…Hope this is your best birthday yet…

  4. ndpthepoetress July 3, 2007 at 10:15 pm #

    Hi Red! I enjoy your GRATITUDE posts! Happy B day galore! I’m sure it will be a blast! How old did you not say you will be and what was that ss# again (background noise: inmate chains clanging as he grabs pen to hurriedly scroll info down). Smiles!

  5. Simon July 4, 2007 at 11:25 pm #

    ha ha! I laughed a lot reading this.. being a red head too.

    then I saw the dog, and, yes! they are fantastic. Our family has two. A fox terrier and a tenterfield terrier.

  6. HollyGL July 6, 2007 at 1:59 am #

    An old boyfriend of mine grew up in Mill Valley, and we would visit his family on the holidays. We would go to Stinson Beach, and I would see the surfers out there and – having been seriously imprinted by “Jaws” – I was forever aghast that they would even consider dipping a toe in the water, let alone hanging out basically emulating shark food. Ugh, I hate even thinking about it now.

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