Being diagnosed with something sucks.
Better yet, you get to hear it from a man who has probably seen you naked in a paper gown that makes you look like a decorated door.
Your toenail paint was probably chipping and you had dry heels. You probably felt like crap.
Then you are told what you are going to have to do.
I get it.
The idea of taking tiny pills everyday for the rest of my life bugged the ever-living shit out of me (excuse me mom I will be swearing here, but I do love you) when this all began.
It made me very angry, in fact.
Then I began thinking about the years that I was on the birth control pill before my husband and I decided we wanted kids — before all that trying and failing (a total mystery to the doctors why I couldn’t get pregnant — I’m sure you know the drill) — I took that pill everyday, along with my vitamins, along with even bigger vitamins when I was pregnant without much thought — so what was I tripping about?
A pill is a pill.
This is your crazy, thyroid mind. It just won’t “chill.”
I think this disease goes after A-type personalities like us because we refuse to slow down. We are terrible at saying no and letting other people pick up the slack . When we finally do get mad it’s an all-or-nothing battle. No wonder our doctors want to medicate us.
When we find out that our thyroid is sputtering out we still won’t make ourselves slow down. We have to do it all.
Our bodies, mad-as-hell at us, eventually puts up a speed-bump in the way of our all-encompassing to-do lists. Sometimes our bodies begin to resemble speed bumps if we push ourselves until we drop.
Are you hearing me girls?
We can’t eat the same rich foods, or drink martinis and red-wine, followed by chocolate or carbohydrates like we used to. We can’t take care of our families for 35-days straight while working full-time and keeping a clean kitchen.
This disease is a gas-tank disease.
Meaning: we can’t run our lives on empty anymore. There is no more running our lives on the fumes of coffee.
And the flip-side of this is that we have to fight from becoming couch potatoes. Just because we may feel like the rest of the world feels when they are coming down with the flu — we must get up and face the day.
I don’t care if you have to walk your dog in your pj’s. You have to get up and make yourself move. Even if you can only go to the mailbox. Try going to the mailbox 5 times.
Then sit in the sun if you can. Read a book. Take a bath. Take in some deep breaths. Smell a flower. Look at the sky. Feel the raindrops. Taste the snow. Imagine good sex.
There are two people inside of you (our lovers will probably agree with this — in fact they are applauding). There is the little thyroid girl who feels sick and wants to be taken care of and always have her way — and there is the much older, wiser, brilliant wishing-to-be-healthy woman who whispers in your ear what you should be doing.
You know, telling you those things that are good for you while trying to talk over the little thyroid girl who insists she can handle just …. one more drink; one more piece of chocolate; one more day on the couch; one more clean bathroom; one more email …
Because when you push yourself too far into doing things that are not in support of your thyroid then thyroid-thinking girl comes out. She will throw a fit and try and have you believe that those sad, agitated thoughts in your head are true — she will ignore your acid reflux response at 2 in the morning and try to get you to have a cookie.
“You’ll sleep better!” thyroid-girl promises.
And the reason she’s even talking to you is because you’ve gone to bed every night this week past midnight and started your days at 6:00am, skipping breakfasts and eating lunch in your car — she having her meltdown and she wants you to make her feel better.
You know that if you give in she will shut up and you will maybe get some restful sleep. You are praying for just one night of restorative sleep.
But if you do, then you will wake up tomorrow deep in thyroid thoughts, feeling like crap craving gluten-infused or sugar-infused foods.
Your wise-self will be trying to nudge you to take better care of yourself.
Are you going to listen to the wise you, or just keep on listening to the little thyroid girl and not get involved in helping yourself feel better?
Do something this week that pampers the wise you — like just drinking more water.
Let’s start there.
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