No one asked my opinion.
Where was I when the world was asked this question? I must have been in my room jumping up and down, rolling around, trying to get a pair of panty hose past my ass. Never interrupt a woman when she is doing this dance – and by God – do not watch. It might make you nauseous.
I, being the opinionated brilliant woman that I am, have a list of my own “Seven Wonders” to submit. Too bad the competition is over, because I drink firmly believe my seven should be displayed at The Smithsonian for all to marvel and photograph.
I say The Seven Wonders are:
1. A clean space under my son’s bed.
2. A man who will stop and ask directions when he is lost.
3. A woman in menopause who is under 15% body fat (Ok maybe this one could also go on my Freak of Nature list).
4. A healthy meal at McDonalds.
5. Parents who claim they sleep through the night.
6. A child who can find their own shoes.
7. A woman who enjoys doing laundry.
Who needs places like the Grand Canyon when you could stare at a man who will admit he is lost, or photograph a couple with five kids, who get at least eight hours a sleep a night? They could be the symbol of hope for all mankind. Wow, then there is really a Yellow Brick Road, and Santa Claus really does fly through the sky.
And my ass looks like a 20 year old’s.
Really, I’d just settle for a GPS system to help my son find his shoes.
Until next time-
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