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Who Else Wants A Cabana Boy and An Umbrella Drink?



“I’m REALLY hungry.”

“But you just had breakfast a couple of hours ago.”

“I know, but I’m hungry.  Can I please have two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with a big glass of milk?”

Redhead mathematics begin in my head:  Wow if he eats one extra sandwich every day and it costs about $1.29 per sandwich, by the time he is 18 that’s $2,700 just in sandwiches.  I could take best-friend girlfriend to Las Vegas for three days and have handsome waiters bring us cute little umbrella drinks while we check out their butts… or that’s roughly 20 new pair of Italian shoes … or a short trip to the Caribbean …or…


I snap back to my senses.

Yes, but why don’t you try just making one sandwich and see if that fills you up?”


Visions of cabana-men-waiters calling my name still dance through my head.

“Mom, I’m making another sandwich.  I’m still hungry.”

Visions of private cabana-waiter-men explode into vapor, replaced with visions of me working a second job at night stocking shelves.

“Oh, and Mom?”


“I need a haircut.”

“Didn’t we just get you one?”

“MOM! Look at my hair.”

If he gets his hair cut every six weeks for the next six years, and there’s dances, special occasions … that’s about $1,000 or so.

(Sigh) Ok, I’ll make the appointment”

“Thank you.”

“Oh, and I also need some new shorts.”

“Are you old enough for a paper route, or some lawn mowing service yet?”


“Wouldn’t you like to go live with your Dad all the time instead of me?”

” No.”

“But I’m your weird mom.”

“Yeah, but you cook better.”

“I suppose there’s that.”



Until next time-



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About Catherine, the redhead mom blogger

Catherine’s hopes to make this blog a safe place for thyroid sufferers to come laugh and share the funnier side of thyroid disease while raising awareness around the world. She is a published author, known for her humorous speeches on finding your dream life and blogging for fun and profit. Catherine writes about her dream life at, 8 Women Dream and several online marketing publications. She would also like to be invited to speak at TED about her observations. Catherine posts on M/W/F. Join me on Google+ rapieress@aol.com

7 Responses to Who Else Wants A Cabana Boy and An Umbrella Drink?

  1. Erika Werlen July 17, 2007 at 1:55 am #

    you forgot to factor what the friends cost who never go home.

  2. Janice July 17, 2007 at 2:58 am #

    His appetite is only going to get bigger! Trust me.

    Kiss all those cabana, massage, and waiter guys good bye.

  3. Trace July 17, 2007 at 11:59 am #

    this would be funny, almost hilarious, if every day I didn’t do this x4… in fact usually 5 or 6 because there are always “extra” kids at the farm, then you multiply that by the 3 horses, 3 dogs, 7 cats…. I usually need a calculator, and a second mortgage on the house. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!

  4. Mommy's Getaway (Tam P) July 17, 2007 at 4:56 pm #

    “Mom, I’ve seen your legs after you shave, and the bushes outside after you prune. No thanks. I like my head still on my neck, thank you very much.”

    Did he really tell you that?? I shot water out of my nose, dieing of laughter, when I read that!!!

  5. Angela July 18, 2007 at 3:51 am #

    What?! No request for $150 tennis shoes yet?! Lucky Redhead! 😉

  6. Frank G July 21, 2007 at 1:57 am #

    Try doing this math with 6 kids under the age of 14 without help. I wonder if I will never be able to aford a beer again in this lifetime. A funny read, Red.

  7. Diana July 23, 2007 at 2:11 am #

    Funny! My kids are grown and out of the house, but I remember the days when my son almost ate me out of house and home! Don’t wish it away…it goes faster than you can imagine!

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