Menopause plus a teenager equals wine
“Mom! Guess what?!”
“You got a job?”
“Ha ha no! Guess what grade I got on my autobiography?”
“A . . . C?”
“No – higher!”
“An A?”
“No – higher!”
“Um I don’t know . . .?”
“I got 100%!”
Until Next time -
C
“Brian?”
“Yeah?”
“You will be 15 in a few weeks, which makes you 15 over the summer . . .”
“Yeah.”
“I think we should see about a job for you this summer.”
“Funny mom.”
Until next time -
C
Brian have you fed the dog?
My feet are cold.
—
Brian can you take the garbage out now?
There’s something weird on the floor over here.
—
Brian is your homework done?
We had to run the mile in PE today.
—
Brian, can you come lift this for me?
Did Alex call?
—
Brian, we need to be leaving now. Are you ready?
Mom, John said he could beat me arm wrestling at school, but he couldn’t, and Mrs. Lewis said we weren’t funny. But it was, you know? And then I said hey, and he said hey. (laughter) So funny huh mom?
—
Brian how are your grades in school?
I’m hungry.
—
Brian how was school today?
My back itches.
—
Or should I just be grateful he is talking to me at all?
Until next time -
C
In honor of Thanksgiving …
Which reminds me that my teenage son has not asked me to buy him an electric guitar or drum set . . .
YET.
I feel old – the next thing you know I will be hearing Queen as Muzak in an elevator or in Target.
Until next time Happy Thanksgiving -
http://www.aweekinthelifeoaredhead.com
Two cute girls spot Brian and George in the store. The boys don’t spot them as they are busy looking at gaming magazines.
“Hi George. Hi Brian”
Breathless teenage girl voices cut the space across the floor between them.
George and Brian glance up – for a moment they seem paralyzed. They grunt out something along the lines of this barely audible sound:
“Hummm.”
“Huhhmm.”
They hardly seem to glance up from the magazine.
The girls giggle and walk away.
I approach the boys.
“You know it wouldn’t have hurt you two to put down the magazine and say “HI!” to those girls back there.
“What? We did!”
“Yeah Mom we said hi!”
I guess I just don’t know the language of teenage boy hellos.
Until next time-
C
I imagine since the idea of sports began, athletes have had nicknames. There was Big Ben and Refrigerator of the Chicago Bears and Flash 80 and Romo of the San Francisco 49rs to name a few.
Now that my son has decided to play high school football (it’s OK I will still make him take dance lessons – I am the redheaded mom) I find all the boys have nicknames for each other. Brian is Little Cox, George is Too Tall, Alex is Beanstalk and the other boys go by their last names – or some twisted version of it.
I am just getting to know Brian’s new friend Joelle – who is referred to as Sanchez (I mostly call the boys by how much they eat: Boy who has 4 pieces of chicken, Boy who drinks only root beer, Boy who hates vegetables and so on). Sanchez is what the back of his practice jersey says, so we have been calling him that.
Makes sense.
He always responds.
Until last Wednesday.
I have to back this story up a few days.
And remind you that these are 14 year old boys.
Last Monday at the beginning of practice, a defensive line coach can be heard yelling:
“S A N C H E Z?!”
“Yes coach?”
“Where’s your paperwork? We can’t find it.”
“My mom finished it and I turned it in sir.”
“You are sure?”
“Yes sir.”
“OK, I’ll look one more time.”
The next day at practice, the same defensive line coach can be heard yelling:
“S A N C H E Z?!”
“Yes coach?”
“I still can’t find your paperwork.”
“Sir I swear I turned it in and my mom filled it out!”
“OK I have one more place I can look.”
That Wednesday at practice, the same defensive line coach can be heard yelling:
“S A N C H E Z?!”
“Yes coach?”
“I have looked everywhere – there is no paperwork for you anywhere!”
“I handed it in sir – honest!”
“OK, maybe I am spelling your name wrong. Your name is spelled J O E L L E S A N C H E Z ( spelled out very slowly) right?”
“Oh no coach!”
“I am Joelle (he begins to spell back very slowly) H E R N A N D E Z!”
“Why son does your practice jersey say Sanchez?”
“Oh that’s my brother’s best friend’s name and this is his old jersey. He gave it to me.”
The coach walks away shaking his head.
All the parents standing there turn to each other and nod, “14″.
The next day at practice, the same defensive line coach can be heard yelling:
“S A N C H E Z?!”
“Yes coach?”
“I found all your paperwork. It’s all in order.”
“Thanks coach.”
Until next time -
C
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