Leonard Louis Levinson once was quoted as stating, “A pessimist sees only the dark side of the clouds, and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides, and shrugs; an optimist doesn’t see the clouds at all – he’s walking on them.”
People are always telling me how difficult single motherhood is, but for some reason I don’t hear them.
When I first moved to this tiny place Brian and I now call home I was determined to create a magical space, a sanctuary from the outside world. We used to read, The Secret Garden and I wanted to create some of the same magic here in our little home.
After my divorce it seemed as if we were starting at less than zero. All I had was my love of Brian, some ideas and my love of music. There was no cable television – no couch – I had given up many things. I was determined to create a different life. Within the empty spaces which occupied our new walls, I began to paint and redecorate while listening to grand musical classics.
Inch by inch our new home began to take on a character and life of its own. From the lush outdoor gardens that spring forth new life to our ‘wall of wishes’ which hang as our favorite story over the new couch – each a tribute to how far we’ve come. Has it been easy? I suppose not, but I loved every minute. I am free, free to create whatever future I can imagine and hold on to. Have I been frightened? Oh hell yeah, many times.
Everyday I can always find something to laugh at, or be grateful for. It is difficult for me to understand people who must always look for the bad in life – to always be upset about something – or mad at someone – or play the victim. They are tiring people to be around. I can only get on my own pity train just long enough to eat some dark chocolate, then I am done.
I see the hope and possibilities and refuse to give up on my dreams. Each new day brings with it the promise for a new life. Sometimes you just walk around a corner and suddenly everything changes.
I refuse to settle for mediocrity. Just as my gardens spring forth new life, the seeds I am planting for my life will bring forth new magic in the years to come – just as long as I don’t give up.
Especially on those days where that cat has thrown up on Brian’s backpack and he’s stepped in dog crap outside on the way to the car…in his brand new shoes.
Just remember – “Where, you tend a rose, my lad, A thistle cannot grow.” (Frances Hodgson Burnett The Secret Garden)
Until next time-