Menopause plus a teenager equals wine
“Mom?”
“Yes?”
“You sure have been going out a lot lately.”
“Brian I went out three times in two months.”
“That’s kinda a lot don’t you think?”
Until next time -
C
http://www.aweekinthelifeofaredhead.com
I imagine since the idea of sports began, athletes have had nicknames. There was Big Ben and Refrigerator of the Chicago Bears and Flash 80 and Romo of the San Francisco 49rs to name a few.
Now that my son has decided to play high school football (it’s OK I will still make him take dance lessons – I am the redheaded mom) I find all the boys have nicknames for each other. Brian is Little Cox, George is Too Tall, Alex is Beanstalk and the other boys go by their last names – or some twisted version of it.
I am just getting to know Brian’s new friend Joelle – who is referred to as Sanchez (I mostly call the boys by how much they eat: Boy who has 4 pieces of chicken, Boy who drinks only root beer, Boy who hates vegetables and so on). Sanchez is what the back of his practice jersey says, so we have been calling him that.
Makes sense.
He always responds.
Until last Wednesday.
I have to back this story up a few days.
And remind you that these are 14 year old boys.
Last Monday at the beginning of practice, a defensive line coach can be heard yelling:
“S A N C H E Z?!”
“Yes coach?”
“Where’s your paperwork? We can’t find it.”
“My mom finished it and I turned it in sir.”
“You are sure?”
“Yes sir.”
“OK, I’ll look one more time.”
The next day at practice, the same defensive line coach can be heard yelling:
“S A N C H E Z?!”
“Yes coach?”
“I still can’t find your paperwork.”
“Sir I swear I turned it in and my mom filled it out!”
“OK I have one more place I can look.”
That Wednesday at practice, the same defensive line coach can be heard yelling:
“S A N C H E Z?!”
“Yes coach?”
“I have looked everywhere – there is no paperwork for you anywhere!”
“I handed it in sir – honest!”
“OK, maybe I am spelling your name wrong. Your name is spelled J O E L L E S A N C H E Z ( spelled out very slowly) right?”
“Oh no coach!”
“I am Joelle (he begins to spell back very slowly) H E R N A N D E Z!”
“Why son does your practice jersey say Sanchez?”
“Oh that’s my brother’s best friend’s name and this is his old jersey. He gave it to me.”
The coach walks away shaking his head.
All the parents standing there turn to each other and nod, “14″.
The next day at practice, the same defensive line coach can be heard yelling:
“S A N C H E Z?!”
“Yes coach?”
“I found all your paperwork. It’s all in order.”
“Thanks coach.”
Until next time -
C
In the beginning there were four clean teenage boys at the beach.
And clothed.
Then the dog headed for cover.
Because she sensed what was coming.
But one was not enough.
Thus we see what teenage boy bliss looks like.
Until next time-
C
High school football practice has started. Last night the front door opens with:
“Hi Mom.”
“Hello”
“Mom – I’m starving!”
“Hi Mrs. Brian’s Mom!”
“Hi George…”
“Brian said you fixed dinner?”
“Yes George I did – are you hungry? – hi Daniel”
“Hi Mrs. Brian’s mom.”
“I suppose you are hungry too?”
“Yes please!”
“Mom – we are so hungry we could eat everything!”
Why does this not shock me?
Is there a government bail out for the people who feed 6′ tall freshman boys? Let me know where to write. I’m on it.
Until next time-
C
http://www.aweekinthelifeofaredhead.com
It’s 8:30pm.
Suddenly the doorbell rings.
I look through the peep hole.
It’s George, Brian’s best friend.
“Hi, I’m here!”
“Brian – George is here.”
“Oh yeh Mom, I forgot to tell you. George is spending the night.”
George enters.
“Are you hungry George?”
“Kinda.”
“Mom, I’m hungry too.”
Until next time -
C
“Mom?”
“Yes?”
“I’m going to George’s”
“OK”
He waves to me from the door.
“Brian?”
“Yeh?”
“When was the last time you brushed your teeth?”
(silence)
“Three days ago… I think.”
Until next time-
C
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