Menopause plus a teenager equals wine
Dear Lord,
Why does my son always seem to be the last one to walk out of school when I am waiting?
Sincerely,
Brian’s mom
Until next time-
C
This weekend I came to the realization that if I want to hear my son endlessly talk specifically to me (in long never-ending run-on sentences), rather than his usual teenage grunts or silence, then all I have to do is put a movie on the TV that I desperately want to watch, and he will attempt to talk non-stop through the entire film.
Life is simple really.
If I want my son to come to me and not leave my side then all I have to do is just hold a cell phone to my ear and act like it is an important conversation.
If I want him to tell me absolutely everything going on in his life AND THEN SOME, then all I have to do is put a movie in the VCR and act like I am dying to watch it.
Why have I been trying to communicate with him in the normal ways? I do see that he is a teenager. What was I thinking? Normal parent thoughts?
I get it now and I feel so enlightened. Don’t you?
C
It is the time of year when we reflect on that which makes us thankful; old friends (or relatives) begin sending those printed generic holiday letters everyone loves to hate; and my mom makes her dark, hard fruitcake which we will never eat but will outlive my great, great, great, great g r e a t grandchildren.
They won’t eat it either. Maybe you are wondering if the redhead is thankful this year or you are just looking for something to do so your boss will think you are working.
I might be able can help so please read on.
Just don’t nod off at your desk or you will blow the whole act.
“I think the skirt you are wearing is a little short Catherine…”
“But MOM it’s three inches past my knees…”
“Men won’t respect you.”
“THAT’S the idea mom.”
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.
With love,
Catherine
http://www.aweekinthelifeofaredhead.com
PS. I am thinking of offering my mother’s fruitcake (as a prize) to one lucky reader.
Coach: “See those long things on your shoes by your ankles? They’re called laces – tie them.”
12 year old boy: “Why? I like them this way. They’re cool.”
Coach: “Is ‘cool’ sitting on the bench?”
12 year old boy: “No.”
Coach: “Wow, then I guess you will be using those things called laces. Don’t make me tell you a 2nd time.”
Brian: “Come on Jess, tie your shoes so we can play!”
12 year old boy: Sigh. “Alright, but this sucks.”
Brian: “No … sucks would be if it was my mom over there telling you.”
12 year old boy: “Why?”
Brian: “You don’t know anything do you? Because she’s a redhead, and you’d be dead at the first “Why?”"
12 year old boy: “Oh, I heard about them…”
Boy hurries and ties shoes.
Brian: “Come on, let’s play ball.”
Coach to me: “Wanna be my assistant coach?”
Until next time-
C
Don’t mind me while I run around after work looking for “please buy something that looks like red blood mom“ … figure out dinner … organize a boy’s trick or treat posse … coordinate trick or treat locations… mathematically figure out if we have enough candy … milk… toilet paper… stop at store …
Is it wine o’clock yet?
C
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